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Age: 19
School: -
Birthday: 24 oct 1986
W207
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February 2006
April 2006
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Sunday, October 07, 2007
i dunno why when everythime i am very very upset i will come here. right now i am extremely angry. i dunno how to describe my anger tt i really want to throw all the things in my house.. arrrrgggggghhhhhh.. my sis fetched me from school and we went for lunch at ikea just now.. to repay her kindness, i decided to acc her to the clinic at serangoon. ya, all the way to serangoon! i think it is a great sacrifice as i know we will end up 2 hours in the car looking for the clinic.. but while we just wanna go out of the house carpark, she again repeats the same mistakes she did last week, with me in the car also!!!! the side of the car is against the wall and i can hear the friction. i go out of the car and see.. and oh my.. a very long and deep startches in addition the the straches from last week. i am so angry tt i slam the door so hard and go back to my hse leaving her alone. i dunno how to describe the disappointment tt i feel towards my sis. how can she be so careless tt she repeats the same mistake again and again wihout learning.. and she always will come out with excuses to cover her backside.. frustrated i am.
i really hate ppl who dunno how to learn from mistakes.. who dun make mistake. i do. million of times.. but ain't mistakes really painful?
i really hate ppl who dunno how to learn from mistakes.. who dun make mistake. i do. million of times.. but ain't mistakes really painful?
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
have not been blogging for ages.. cant sleep now.. so many things running in my mind.. micro tutorial, family stuff, work.. but i am really agitated of one particular thing tt isnt directly related to me.. but i am feeling angry.. really angry tt i cant stop thinking abt it.. wtf!
anyway.. some personal opinion... i really cannot stand ppl who keep on complaining tt they do not have money, yet they spend money like no one business.. even worse they blame others for not giving them money.. besides, if got no money, find way to earn it? and please dun just wait there and expecting someone to give u the hard-earned money.. it is not their responsibility to provide for you lor.. grrr..
i also hate ppl who looks down on my school! please lor.. if u r not clear wad i am studying, dun point the gun at me saying i have made the wrong choice! dun compare with others can.. damn pissed. i will show you i can also go to lse one day, spending only one year rather than 4 years there..
ok.. enough scolding.. can go sleep now.. good nite.. err, good morning!
anyway.. some personal opinion... i really cannot stand ppl who keep on complaining tt they do not have money, yet they spend money like no one business.. even worse they blame others for not giving them money.. besides, if got no money, find way to earn it? and please dun just wait there and expecting someone to give u the hard-earned money.. it is not their responsibility to provide for you lor.. grrr..
i also hate ppl who looks down on my school! please lor.. if u r not clear wad i am studying, dun point the gun at me saying i have made the wrong choice! dun compare with others can.. damn pissed. i will show you i can also go to lse one day, spending only one year rather than 4 years there..
ok.. enough scolding.. can go sleep now.. good nite.. err, good morning!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
dunno why suddenly end up here again. haha. have not been blogging for ages. haiz.. now i wonder who will read this. no one knows the existence of this blog.. haha.. good good..
have been feeling very down recently.. maybe can say since the starting of the year. a level results disappointed me so much, even till now, i can say i still could not get it out of me.. maybe there are some pride within me. i am so depressed. but no one understands the fear that i feel, the things that i am worried about. feel disappointed with lots of ppl too. ppl just dun appreciate the things tat i do, or rahter ppl always take me for granted. really disappointing. even the ppl that i trust the most also failed me. haiz.. this is real life i guess. no one will make fren with u until they find the place tht they can gain advantage from u.. this is how i define a fren now.
have never been doin well in spritual life. there is still sth stuck there that i am not able to solve it, even it has been 2 years already. i can admit that there is totally no spiritual substance inside of me. but no one understand how i really feel. all they can say is 'u can do it one'. feel like running away, but i know i will bring troubles to myself and lots of ppl. or perhaps i am not really willing to leave. but i know i gotta choose for myself. either to go all the way, or just get out of this path. i am ashamed to see ppl growing in the Lord every single day, but yet i am sliding back each day, slide away to the extent tat there is no more room for me to slide back. it is miserable. i hope there is really someone out there that can help me out.
today my mum just told me she allow me to go to melbourne for holidays. but i am not that happy anymore. i dun really want to go there now, cos i am running away. but i will still consider to go there. i really need to take a break from my this weird world. i begin to hate the ppl who begins to show their power of possesion. i begin to see their true colours. sometimes outside frens appreciate me even more. sometimes i feel that there is no point to treat someone well, cos they never really aprreciate ur existence. or rather they feel that ur existence add on pressure and problems to their lifes. well, if this is the case, i will not bother u anymore. i promise one day i will.
have been feeling very down recently.. maybe can say since the starting of the year. a level results disappointed me so much, even till now, i can say i still could not get it out of me.. maybe there are some pride within me. i am so depressed. but no one understands the fear that i feel, the things that i am worried about. feel disappointed with lots of ppl too. ppl just dun appreciate the things tat i do, or rahter ppl always take me for granted. really disappointing. even the ppl that i trust the most also failed me. haiz.. this is real life i guess. no one will make fren with u until they find the place tht they can gain advantage from u.. this is how i define a fren now.
have never been doin well in spritual life. there is still sth stuck there that i am not able to solve it, even it has been 2 years already. i can admit that there is totally no spiritual substance inside of me. but no one understand how i really feel. all they can say is 'u can do it one'. feel like running away, but i know i will bring troubles to myself and lots of ppl. or perhaps i am not really willing to leave. but i know i gotta choose for myself. either to go all the way, or just get out of this path. i am ashamed to see ppl growing in the Lord every single day, but yet i am sliding back each day, slide away to the extent tat there is no more room for me to slide back. it is miserable. i hope there is really someone out there that can help me out.
today my mum just told me she allow me to go to melbourne for holidays. but i am not that happy anymore. i dun really want to go there now, cos i am running away. but i will still consider to go there. i really need to take a break from my this weird world. i begin to hate the ppl who begins to show their power of possesion. i begin to see their true colours. sometimes outside frens appreciate me even more. sometimes i feel that there is no point to treat someone well, cos they never really aprreciate ur existence. or rather they feel that ur existence add on pressure and problems to their lifes. well, if this is the case, i will not bother u anymore. i promise one day i will.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
day by day just past without me realising.. i am already back for one month.. n for the past 2 weeks, i had experienced a new pace of my life.. started working on 17th jan.. i was rather happy to at least get a job.. almost died of depression before that.. things get quite scary when i realised i had done nothing.. a total waste of time..
at least i got something to do now.. in fact i got very busy with my new job.. trust me.. it is a low-pay n tiring job.. i stand for the whole day, n i can feel the numbness every night. i guess many ppl think i am too stupid to do such job where i can do other jobs like office-job or even giving tuition which is much easier n with higher pay..
but i get insipred by one of my manager.. he told me that he did not work after the money, but passion that keeps him goin on.. so i feel that i can learn things from this job too. i learn that money is not everything.. but one thing that worries me is the people that working together with me.. they spoke vulgar they smoke.. i hope that i am strong enough to be influenced by them.. n some of them like to bully me too. n sometimes i get provoked.. but things get better now.. we play like crazy ppl..
thank God one of the full-timer like to teach me new things.. so i learn alot from her.. today she let me blend juice, n let me cut 80 apples.. hahaha..
at least i got something to do now.. in fact i got very busy with my new job.. trust me.. it is a low-pay n tiring job.. i stand for the whole day, n i can feel the numbness every night. i guess many ppl think i am too stupid to do such job where i can do other jobs like office-job or even giving tuition which is much easier n with higher pay..
but i get insipred by one of my manager.. he told me that he did not work after the money, but passion that keeps him goin on.. so i feel that i can learn things from this job too. i learn that money is not everything.. but one thing that worries me is the people that working together with me.. they spoke vulgar they smoke.. i hope that i am strong enough to be influenced by them.. n some of them like to bully me too. n sometimes i get provoked.. but things get better now.. we play like crazy ppl..
thank God one of the full-timer like to teach me new things.. so i learn alot from her.. today she let me blend juice, n let me cut 80 apples.. hahaha..
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
now is 5.30 am.. have been laying on my bed since 2am.. i just cant sleep.. i keep thinking of someone..
today i learn something.. i learn that i need to cherish ppl around me.. we will never know when we will leave this world. life is full of unexpectency.. i learn that i need to spend more time with my parents as long as i have the chance to do so.. i really love them..
anws, this i my new blog.. new year means a new start.. i want to have a total fresh start of everything.. forget about the past failures, n keep on moving.. 2005 is my worst year.. this year will be much a better year..
i am still having my long holiday.. it is like i am all alone.. schools are reopen, n the rest are working.. feel happy that i dun have to go back to school anymore.. but slowly it is quite boring.. i have nothing to do here except of spending money..
i will be gg back to indo again before chinese new year.. i decided that i must go back to acc my parents..
today i learn something.. i learn that i need to cherish ppl around me.. we will never know when we will leave this world. life is full of unexpectency.. i learn that i need to spend more time with my parents as long as i have the chance to do so.. i really love them..
anws, this i my new blog.. new year means a new start.. i want to have a total fresh start of everything.. forget about the past failures, n keep on moving.. 2005 is my worst year.. this year will be much a better year..
i am still having my long holiday.. it is like i am all alone.. schools are reopen, n the rest are working.. feel happy that i dun have to go back to school anymore.. but slowly it is quite boring.. i have nothing to do here except of spending money..
i will be gg back to indo again before chinese new year.. i decided that i must go back to acc my parents..